I will never forget the day that I found out I was pregnant. It was June 23, 2008 (my Mom's birthday actually!). I was getting ready for work and decided to take a test just so that I could call my doctor and explain to them that something was off. I could not figure out why I was so late! Yeah, I know it does not take a genius to know that being late usually means you're pregnant but you have to understand we only tried for ONE MONTH! I had prepared myself for the journey to get pregnant to be fraught with many months of negative tests. Don't ask me why because I really don't know. I just figured it couldn't be that easy. And to be honest I had a HUGE fear of miscarriage. Again, don't ask me why... I just did. So much so that I was almost scared to even try. I didn't tell many people this, for fear of looking crazy, but it was very real to me. So on that Monday morning I was stunned to see that the stick showed positive. I can't even explain to you the feelings that went through my head. I was in shock!
I look back now and realize that I could have let those "what if's" and the fears rob me of the most incredible love I have ever experienced. My son has taught me what no one ever could--pure joy. In the beginning months when I felt like I was in a fog from just pure exhaustion I would still look at my little boy and just grin ear to ear because he was mine. No longer was I just babysitting, but this amazing child was part of me and part of my best friend. I look at him and can't believe the difference a year makes. This time last year Gabe and I were talking about beginning to try. Now as I type this I am looking at the most adorable guy in the world. Isaiah, thank you for the joy you have brought to my life. In a season of hurt and frustration, you showed your Dad and I that God had so much for us. You showed us that life does go on. These last 3 months have been amazing. Your smile makes my heart melt. You are the greatest gift I have ever gotten. I look forward to all the years ahead, to see what God has in store for you. Always remember that your Mommy loves you more than I can ever explain. Thanks for making me a mom!
Now a shout out to my mom. Mom you have shown me what it means to be a mom. You have always been my sounding board no matter how crazy I sound. You encouraged me to become my own person--to be me and not to make any excuses for who I am. You have always made me feel beautiful even when I wore those dorky socks pulled up to my knees with braided ponytails and a mouth full of braces. Thank you for always making me feel confident in who I am. I hope to pass this along to my son along with many other lessons you taught me. You are truly one of my best friends. You are the best!
--For those wondering: for Mother's Day Gabe took me out to a nice dinner on Friday night (thanks Aunt Kimmy for watching the little man) and then on Sunday I woke up to Gabe and Isaiah making me breakfast. Well Isaiah was just sitting in his bouncer but you know! Gabe got me a gift certificate for a pedicure too. It was a nice relaxing day.--
Just hanging out
Heading out to dinner
This is Isaiah's new big boy way of sleeping--doesn't he look so big!
Hope everyone had an awesome Mother's day!
3 comments:
You are welcome!! I loved being able to babysit my cute little nephew. Nothing compares to those adorable smiles that he gives everyone :) I just love him to pieces. I can be having the worst day, but the second I see that little man, I forget about everything! You are an awesome Mommy (I never doubted that you wouldn't be). Little Isaiah is so lucky to have such wonderful parents! I can truly say that I am proud to call you my sister! I love you all : )
Thank you so much for your wonderful and kind words. Being yours and Kimberly's mom is such a blessing! I, like you, always wanted to be a mom and couldn't imagine my life without my girls. I am very proud of the mom you are. It's still hard to believe you are a mom and not that kid in the tube socks and braces! Isaiah will have moments like that also and you will love him no matter what. I am very proud of you and thank you for my adorable grandson!
Love,
Mom
You deserved a great day, Kara! You're a great mom, and Isaiah is blessed to have you. Though challenges lie ahead, with God's grace we know you will rise to meet them. Being a mother means more than birthing a child - it means having a mother's heart, and it's so clear that you have that.
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